Recently I got to know that a bunch of people whom I thought were my friends, some of whom were barely acquaintances and some of whom I have good memories to cherish had a private conversation the topic of which was me, apparently my Profile Picture. LOL Seriously? I never thought I gathered so many eyes and also that people were so jobless.So here goes a pour out..
After a long thought whether or not, I decided to change my profile picture to one in which I felt i looked confident and lively. Yes, my first DP on a sleeveless dress. For some its something casual, for many girls in my country its not. We have moved open to a "larger" extent where we get the freedom to wear Shorts n Sleeveless inside our rooms, luckily in some girls hostels too. Our parents do understand that we have the liberty to dress the way we want with in the four walls of our rooms, some also come up to the level of teaching their daughters to be bold enough, face bull-shit criticisms about dressing and move on the way we want to be. Yet if you ask even those mothers, they have a fear in the corner of their hearts that their daughter has to come back home SAFE.
I do understand the provokability of a Woman's body to a man. Its natural. I don't deny that. But the same provocation doesn't happen to the majority of men even if their sisters, mother or any person whom the society considers to be prohibited for sexual relationship, are the most beautiful and attractive Women on Earth. The same thirst doesn't set on when the Saree of Mother moves away from her breasts when she's in the Kitchen or the nighty of a Sister which goes up when she is in Sleep. So the whole feel the lust is not 100% biological, we do see that a man can control his primitive animal instincts of his ID with his morality driven SUPER EGO and be in an equilibrium state. Thats is what we call the Sixth Sense. The gift of every human being to control his instincts.
The tormented caged Woman in me questions Why don't these people use that Sixth Sense and behave Humans? Does it always have to be that the bare hands and smooth legs of a woman being provocative and sensual? Doesn't she have the freedom like the men of her world to feel some air? Cant she give herself the freedom to lift her body with confidence?
We are Women. It is natural that we find ourselves at heights of confidence when we are attractive be it physical or intellectual. Like you expect a woman to understand your boys world, we expect you to understand that we also need our space and fresh air to breath into.
We don't dress-up to attract so as to get you guys under our pants. We dress up to feel alive. The feeling of breeze in my shoulders, arm pits and legs makes me feel alive and connected to this natural world. The moment that I can get yours eyes on my looks makes me feel that I am admired and that boosts my confidence. Don't you men feel good when you flaunt your well built body before a bunch of girls? or when you wear a nice suit and you get the eyes of the girls in a party? Yes you do. OMG! but you don't have to be afraid of doing so, Coz u don get RAPED, or you don have a bunch of morons making your body a topic of discussion fancying about how to hit your ass.
Well, is it a woman's fault to exercise her Free Will for which she gets Raped, Physically, emotionally or Verbally? Not just a man who forces a women on his bed is a Rapist, A man who doesn't have the Dignity to respect the Free Will of another women and who goes down to the level of fantasizing sensuality without her permission is also a Rapist. Every woman is a Victim of such rape.
Raped by a bunch of men over their drunken coversations or by a so called friend who steals her picture to Mastrubate or by a guy who seeks pleasure in feeling her body when she doesn't notice. Have you people ever questioned your conscience of killing the trust she has on you while spending those few minutes? Have you ever questioned yourself for going so low to take any woman for granted? How do you even proclaim yourselves as Virgins or morally upright or even civilized humans?
Okay lets consider, that I be the women of your specifications. I wear a neatly pressed Salwar, Covering my breasts with a piece of Shawl or a neatly pinned Saree with no room for air to enter. Is that going to stop a man from mentally Raping me? Even after giving a part of my entire day adjusting my Saree or my shawl and slit in my salwar, he still finds ways to imagine how big my breasts will be and what shape my butt will be. He still doesn't shut his filthy brain from thinking what is in store behind my drapes and what a pleasure it ll be to have it. Give me a break! Am I a Chocolate to think about how I ll be when opened up or a moving live human being? The problem is not in the way we dress or the way we carry ourselves. Its in your heads douchebags.
Even animals have the brains to flock only to its pride or partners. Perhaps had they been given the Sixth Sense they would have used it more morally and wise. I don't say Every man I see is a Rapist, but certainly every woman I see is a Victim of Mental Rape.
I am a Woman, I am a Human. I have my Free Will to exercise my Freedom. If you don't put me into the trouble of feeling ashamed to feel some air, if you can carry some empathy, if you can let your Women friend have their share of fun and happiness, if you can help me overcome my inhibitions and do better things, if you can let me be on my own, Women are equally gifted with abilities that can be put for better purposes. The list of First Women So and So will not just stop with First there-after.
If you can adopt technology from the western world why cant you adopt some of their Values too? I don't approve that the Western World is equally Gender Sensible, yet they do give Women the freedom to exercise her Free will to a greater extent and they can improve by adopting some of the Eastern Values.
I ask you to grow up, there are better things to do in life rather than discussing someone's looks or someone's dress. Its so pathetic in a world of Men and Women created at equal pedestal a Woman has to come down to beg for her Freedom to live the life she wants. Its shameful to feel that the person she trusts and spends the most valuable and irreversible element in life- Time, has all the while been seeking pleasure from the piece of flesh in my bare hands or behind my Saree slit or the invisible unto his imagination under my drapes. Its Insane to see even after educating oneself for 15-20 years and spending time with so many people of the opposite sex a woman is made to feel shy by her own set of people. Its to a torment to fear someone would see me in the wrong way or would take me for granted every morning as I dress up to leave into the world and ask my Mother every time, Mom do i look okay? Is my Shawl okay? is my Bum too obvious? Give us a break, the Fear and Loathing Sucks big time.
You may ask me, Why give a damn? I don't have to be bothered if I don't feel insanely uncomfortable with Scanning eyes on my body when I go out. I don't have to give Crap if I don't have to think twice before posting a picture or to check if my Vitals are proper. But Kudos to my Patriarchal Ancestry! The treatment for this feeling is the Change in your Attitude.
Not all men are completely Gender Insensitive, there are men who are more open-minded than the Women of this age. But for the huge bunch of crappy heads around please change, you are leads to the next generation. I wish at least my daughter lives in an era of Equality and Freedom, that she doesn't yearn to Run away from the Land she was born in search of Freedom Elsewhere.
Tired of being Raped Mentally,
SARAH
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